Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Dude, That's Our Suburbs. Don't Even Try To Step To Seatown!

Police fatally shoot Bellevue man at baby shower

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Hello?! Does No One Notice A Trend Here!

Paul Winchell, the voice of Tigger, dies in his home.

The next day, John Fiedler, the voice of Piglet, dies in his home.

Somebody is bumping these people off. The Pooh Corner Murders... Yup, that is what they will come to be known as when it's all said and done. Yup.

Monday, June 27, 2005

For Curt

Spooky Peanuts!

Saturday, June 25, 2005

What, No Bear?

Oh wait, there was one. This story is so fucked.

Minn. Boy Injured in Lion, Tiger Attack

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Holy Shit, Did Thelma Houston Just Own My Ass?!

If you missed Hit Me Baby... you fucking missed out. You better have DVRed that shit or plan to watch it on BRAVO. 'Cause, holy shit.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


I find this both incredibly funny and terribly sad. I am a conflicted dork.

Lightning destroys Star Wars toys

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

See Irish, This Is How It's Done

Okay, I'm usually the first to say fuck Ashton, but this one's good:

According to The Philadelphia Daily News, Ashton Kutcher fooled unsuspecting jocks for upcoming episodes of the MTV show Punk'd, in which the actor sets up elaborate practical jokes on celebrities.

Allen Iverson's prank reportedly took place earlier this month at a Hollywood club, where he was having a birthday party. The gag was that Iverson wasn't let in to his own party while lesser names like Diff'rent Strokes star Todd Bridges just strolled right in.

You Stupid Assholes

I love Underdog! Underdog is awesome. I do NOT want to see a live-action Underdog movie.

This is Underdog! He is a cartoon.

Reports indicate that a real dog will be used for the canine superhero with computer graphic enhancements added. I swear to God Disney I will kill you if you fuck this up.


I love NBC's Hit Me Baby 1 More Time. LOVE it! And while I do not watch ABC's Dancing With the Stars, I'm sure there are some that swear by it. When FOX announced Skating With Celebrities I shook my head. But hey, c'est la vie right? Now NBC has announced their newest brainstorm: I'm a Celebrity but I Want to Be a Pop Star. The show will be a multiweek talent competition featuring "well-known" faces from TV, film and sports singing hits of today and yesteryear.

Oh, who am I kidding. I will watch the ass out of this show. I will DVR it while watching. I will watch the Bravo reruns at their designated time, knowing that I already have it DVR'd so I can watch it anytime.

Fuck you.

Monday, June 20, 2005

This Shit Never Happens On Punk'd

The gag isn't the funny part of this story. Because it's not actually that funny. It's Tom's reaction. Fucking gold. But shit, imagine if this was acid. That would so suck in a Harvey Dent kind of way. Which actually, could be cool for Batman Continues except now that Katie is out of the sequel, they can't have trailer sex. Well I guess they still could. But they couldn't mix it up by switching off trailers. Because she would not get one. Unless Tom asked for one for her. Then probably.

***Update*** Here's a link to the video: Cruise Video

Gotta say, he handled this better than I would have.

from The Irish Examiner

Four pranksters arrested as Cruise soaked

Four men were arrested tonight after Hollywood star Tom Cruise was drenched with water at the London premiere of his new film.

They were working on a new Channel 4 comedy programme and may now be charged with assaulting the A-list actor.

He reacted angrily to the prank, repeatedly calling the man who soaked him a "jerk".

Cruise was on a walkabout talking to some of the 5,000 fans who had packed into Leicester Square for the star-studded premiere of War of the Worlds and he was accompanied by his new fiance, actress Katie Holmes.

As he answered questions from journalists a bogus reporter, wearing a white and green t-shirt, stuck out a joke microphone and used it to squirt water into Cruise's face.

The star struggled to maintain his composure and rounded on the man, saying: "Why would you do that ... why would you do that ... why would you do that?"

As the prankster offered a barely audible excuse, Cruise said: "Do you like thinking less of people, is that it?"

After an uncomfortable silence the joker went to walk away but Cruise said: "Don't run away."

He told his assailant: "That's incredibly rude. I'm here giving you an interview and you do that ... it's incredibly rude."

Cruise then said forcibly: "You're a jerk ... jerk ... you're a jerk."

The man was escorted away by security guards and taken inside the cinema where he and the three other members of his freelance camera crew were arrested.

A Channel 4 spokesman said: "The incident was for a new Channel 4 entertainment show part of which involves playing comedy pranks on celebrities and on members of the public."

The water squirting was not intended to cause offence and was very much in a spirit of fun. "We hope Tom Cruise will be able to see the joke in the spirit with which it was intended."

Am I Excited About Nick Cage As Ghost Rider

Click For Larger

Heeeeeeeeell no.


Okay. The poster looks sweet.

Click For Larger

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Dear Lord! On His Neck?!

from IMDb

Affleck Flashed Applegate

Actress Christina Applegate still can't believe Ben Affleck deliberately displayed his genitals to her while shooting a movie scene. The 33-year-old was working with the eccentric heart-throb on Surviving Christmas last year, when she saw more of him than she expected. She says, "They were doing a shot of a briefcase and Ben put his stuff on the case. It was gross." And Applegate is not the first Hollywood star to witness his racy humor, director Kevin Smith had to endure Affleck's favorite prank - resting his scrotum on the back of the movie maker's neck during breaks on the set of movie flop Jersey Girl.

Sure 20 People Were Put To Death…

But that show was a hoot!

'Bewitched' statue goes up in Salem

Also, Tabitha grew up hot.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

John Madden, Whore

CBS, FOX, ABC, and now NBC. He's like the sports equivalent of Donna in Hurlyburly.

Madden leaving ABC to join NBC as game analyst

Monday, June 13, 2005

Hey Film Geeks - Get Yo' Freak On!

At last! The perfect opportunity to pull the ol' "cock in the popcorn" trick.

Sure She Missed The Point Of The Song...

...but have you SEEN Jessica Simpson in this video?

This is the rough cut. Note to Sony: don't change a goddamned thing. No video has contained more for both loathing hipsters and pervy teens to enjoy. Jessica Simpson, you are a miracle.


Friday, June 10, 2005

Hey Kids, Vote Or Die!

Better headline:

German city prepares "sex huts" ahead of World Cup


Cats use fax as toilet, spark Japan house fire

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Wait...So Strippers Really Do That?

Former Stripper Wins Nev. Judge Election

from the Associated Press

HENDERSON, Nev. - Ex-stripper Diana Hampton will soon have something new to wear - judicial robes.

Hampton was elected to the Municipal Court in Henderson on Tuesday, defeating Michael Miller in a run-off by 176 votes.

Hampton, 39, had acknowledged during the campaign that she worked at a Las Vegas striptease club to help pay her way through college 14 years ago.

She called it "a fact of life" and said she hoped the interest it drew to her candidacy would eventually die down.

She was elected to a six-year term

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

One Step Closer To Car In A Briefcase

CVS to Sell Disposable Video Cameras

It's Raining Men

Man's Leg, Torso Fall Out of Plane in N.Y.

Holy Fucking Christ Batman!

Batman Begins is the best comic book movie I have I ever seen. Period. And I have seen a LOT of comic book movies. Ones your ass never knew got made. Batman Begins gets everything right. Casting. Story. Acting. Set Design. EVERYTHING. I'm kinda pissed at myself that I saw it for free. Granted it makes up for the 9 bucks I spent on Dodgeball, but still, I'm not a great man. And I was handed a great gift. I can't believe how many times I made happy noises. I can't even sleep. How do you make a genre pic like this so God damn perfect? How do you watch a flick like this and go, yeah I'm totally buying everything? EVERYTHING!

They made THIS make perfect sense!

This film showed how you can fill the screen in a comic adaptation with talented actors, and by letting them act and not chew scenery, you can make an ensemble film in which everyone is still quite memorable. Unreal.

Look, I don't get paid shit if you go or not. But man, see this movie. Unless you are in anyway associated with the upcoming Fantastic Four flick, because you will kill yourself.


Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Things I'm Doing Today That Own You...

1) Watching music videos for like 5 hours

2) Watching the new Shakira music video for like 2 hours

3) Seeing Batman Begins

4) Falling asleep in my race car bed

Monday, June 06, 2005

And Now For Something Completely Different

I know I talk a lot of shit here on the Huh?! but sometimes I come across stuff that I really respect. And what Bill Holden is doing is at the top of that current list.

A Walk On The Wild Side

Friday, June 03, 2005

Probably Too Easy, But Still...C'mon!

from IMDb

Strippers Come To Slater's Defense

Strippers at New York club Scores are offering their services to troubled actor Christian Slater - to help him avoid a sex pest tag. The movie star was arrested in New York on Tuesday for allegedly groping a woman on the street. But strippers at Scores, where Broken Arrow star Slater is a client, insist they'll come to his defense and testify he always keeps his hands to himself and behaves like "a perfect gentleman" when he's a guest at the club.

Hmmm... There Are 6 Locations Within 60 Miles Of My Office...

Stop by Krispy Kreme for a free doughnut of your choice on Friday, June 3rd, 2005

I Give...And I Give...And You Still Spread Me Open Like A Chicken Without Saying Please

Remember last time you bought the Evil Dead 2 DVD? The definitive version. And you said, "This is it! I know this is like the third version I've bought, but this is IT! This is the one! The one to rule them all!" Well, you were wrong. Idiot.

Anchor Bay is re-releasing the DVD again. With a "Book of the Dead" design to match the first flick, but this time with a bulging eye that makes screaming sounds when you push it. Damn you Anchor Bay! The disc will feature the first ever high-definition Divimax transfer of the film as well as new bonus material. But no word on what or what may carry over from previous releases. No street date has been announced either. God damn you Anchor Bay. I want to be strong. I want to just stay with the copy I have. But. Yet. I want this too. So very badly. I hate you Anchor Bay. But I love you so much.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I Highly Recommend That Suicide Girls Photo Book

Bees Swarm After Mayor Recommends Bee Book
By Associated Press

SHREVEPORT, La. - It was a bzzzy sort of day in Shreveport. A burst can of soda brought a swarm of bees into a shopping cart outside a supermarket the day the mayor announced that "The Secret Life of Bees" will be Shreveport's first citywide reading project.

The real bees formed a huge circle around the queen until Gail Boynton and her husband, beekeepers from the Blanchard area, suited up and collected them. Customers and employees of the Kroger grocery store stood and watched.

"It looks like a spacesuit - is someone going up?" joked customer Zetta Holden.

Boynton said the bees were attracted to the sugar in the Dr. Pepper.

"This is swarming season and when the queen moves, they move with the queen," she said.

"The Secret Life of Bees," by Sue Monk Kidd, has been another sort of phenomenon: it's been on one bestseller list or another fairly steadily since early 2003.

On Tuesday, Mayor Kenneth Hightower announced that Shreveport will join other cities in encouraging all residents to read a different book each month. Several local book clubs are sponsoring the effort, dubbed "One Book One City: Shreveport - On the Same Page."

To help in the local effort, area library branches and book stores will be stocking an additional 200 copies of "The Secret Life of Bees," said Signora Thomas of the Wisdom Seekers Book Club.

Area residents are encouraged to read the book, organize discussion groups with family and friends, co-workers, church groups and to join other meetings that will be scheduled this summer by the One Book One City planning committee.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005 Will Make You Spurt

Internet Group OKs 'xxx' Web Addresses

This Shit Might Fly In Oakland...

The San Francisco 49ers front office is under fire for an in-house training video that included lesbian porn, off-color racial jokes, a parody of gay marriage and topless blondes.


This shit gets better. Excellent details of video...

Mayor: Training video 'reprehensible'

...Next comes a topless, lesbian wedding filmed at a strip club and officiated by Reynolds, again impersonating the mayor. "I know the courts say we can't do this,'' Reynolds says before the happy couple engages in heavy petting. "We make our own rules here in San Francisco.''