The Incredible Huh?!
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Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Like Curing Cancer By Injecting The Patient With AIDS
If you are concerned that Paula Abdul has become a drugged out wreck and contestant-fucking whore, why would you trade up to this:
via Us Online
Paula Being Replaced? Courtney Love Confirms She's Been Called for American Idol
Simon, Paula, Randy and ... Courtney??? Hold on to your remotes, Idolites, because legendary rock idol Courtney Love tells Usmagazine.com exclusively that American Idol wants her!
Love reveals to her favorite magazine Web site that Idol's executive producer Nigel Lythgoe called her office last week inquiring into whether she would be interested in sitting in as a judge on the hit FOX show.
"He called," Love tells Usmagazine.com. "He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant."
Is FOX lining up a replacement for slap-happy Paula Abdul, or just looking to spice up the show with the always-entertaining rocker/actress? Love, who is currently in L.A. recording a solo album, declined to reveal any more specific details.
But a source tells Usmagazine.com that Lythgoe was considering having Love "replace Paula."
American Idol reps could not immediately be reached for comment.
Told you this sounded like a bad idea. from various reports American Idol boss Nigel Lythgoe has slammed reports he approached Courtney Love about joining the hit show, insisting she must have been the victim of a prank caller. The former Hole rocker said on Tuesday she had been contacted by Lythgoe about becoming a judge on the reality talent competition, possibly as a replacement for Paula Abdul. She told American publication Us Weekly, "He called. He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird, but brilliant." Lythgoe denies the conversation took place telling the magazine, "I did not call Courtney Love and am afraid someone may have misrepresented me. Courtney Love is a very talented artist, but the judges for American Idol are Paula, Randy, and Simon. We have no plans to add to or replace any of them." A source close to Love adds, "It was probably a prank."
Friday, January 26, 2007
Is This Scientist Fucking Kidding Me?!
via Associated Press
Scientist Develops Caffeinated Doughnuts
DURHAM. N.C. - That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.
While the product is not on the market yet, Bohannon has approached some heavyweight companies, including Krispy Kreme, Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks about carrying it.
Great. Add some garlic to cereal. Or ketchup to a fucking sandwich. Then maybe get on that whole AIDS thing chop chop.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Bumfuck Ohio Town Just Getting Around To Being Outraged By South Park
By Associated Press
Ohio City May Rename 'South Park'
MARYSVILLE, Ohio - You don't find fans of Cartman and Kenny on the Parks and Recreation Commission in the central Ohio city of Marysville. The panel has decided it's time to rename a local park that has come to be known as "South Park."
City administrator Kathy House says having a park with the same name as the popular but often controversial cartoon show has become inappropriate.
One member of the parks commission says they wanted to get away from "South Park" -- far away.
So, the board is recommending that the city council approve a change to "Greenwood Park," after a nearby street and apartment complex.
Marysville is about 35 miles northwest of Columbus.
I randomly mention a guy and then he shows up dead. Bifuckingzarre.
WWE.COM is reporting the death of former wrestling superstar Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow, who was found dead this morning in Florida.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
WE To Feature Deep Throating Bounty Hunter
God I love the world. So the Women's Entertainment channel has a new show coming out. See press blurb below.
WE’s Bounty Hunter Is No Dog
Pasadena, Calif. -- Sandra Scott juggles housecleaning and chasing down bad guys in Wife, Mom, Bounty Hunter,a reality skein on WE tv. The woman owns her own bail-bonds firm in Arizona and is a "free-lance" bounty hunter, Scott told critics at the Television Critics Association Tour here. Her husband, Ron, an electrician who joins her on her hunts; 15-year-old daughter Sabree; and six-year-old Ever Skye are also featured in the program. Scott is not a TV naif: She formerly was a tag-team wrestler on G.L.O.W: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. The series will begin in April with a one-hour episode, but the body of the series will be half-hour episodes.
So here's the deal. Sandra Scott was born Sandra Lee Schwab. She then married Serge Jean-Pierre Margot and became Sandra Margot, which was here legal name when she wrestled for G.L.O.W. under the ring name Tiffany Mellon in the late 80s. She divorced Jean-Pierre during this time and eventually left G.L.O.W. to pursue a career in adult films were she was billed under several variations of the name Tiffany Million in a TON of films including Stripper Nurses & Titty Bar 2. She also married fellow adult star Ritchie Razor during this period, and co-starred with him in flicks like Jailhouse Cock and The Beaverly Hillbillies. They didn't last long. Neither did her marriage to Jeffrey Paul Hickey. But soon after that she left the adult film industry, married Ron Scott, and became Sandra Scott, mom/bounty hunter.
And now she has a show. Which I think is brilliant. But why skip over her sweet film career in this press release? She did that waaaaay longer than G.L.O.W. And while wrestling seems like the more applicable trade to flow into bounty hunting (see Bam Bam Bigelow) her work on the thrilling Temple of Poon was no less physical than any match she had in the ring. That shit was the bomb.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
PBS Signs Burns, Apparently Plans To Murder Him In 2022
via CBC Arts
Documentarian Ken Burns signs lifetime deal with PBS
American documentary filmmaker Ken Burns has inked an exclusive deal with PBS, which will air his works until 2022.
Paula Kerger, chief of the U.S. public network, confirmed the 53-year-old director has signed a deal that is essentially a lifetime contract.
"What it represents is an extra commitment from Ken that he's planning to spend the rest of his professional life working with public television," said Kerger at a Saturday meeting with television critics in California.
Burns launched his career through his Emmy-winning Civil War docu-series airing in 1990, following it up with Baseball in 1994 — which also won an Emmy — and 2001's Jazz serial.
Kerger indicated Burns's upcoming 14-hour series on the Second World War, to be shown in September and called The War, would be another "one of those seminal events, not just in public broadcasting history, but in broadcast history."
Burns has said that he wanted to capture the memories of the people who fought in that war before they died. The series follows four American towns in different states through the war years, centering on both the soldiers and their families and friends left behind.
"The point of view is from ordinary people, who do the fighting and who do the dying in all wars," Burns said in an interview in November.
The filmmaker's other projects include one on the National Parks system and another about the Prohibition era in the U.S.
The Brooklyn-born Burns has won many awards in his professional life. The nine-episode Civil War series earned 40 major film and television awards, including two Emmy Awards, a Producer of the Year award from the Producers Guild of America, a Peabody and the $50,000 US Lincoln Prize.
His other noteworthy works include a documentary about the opening of the American frontier called The West (1996), one about architect Frank Lloyd Wright and the Emmy-winning Unforgivable Blackness: The Rise and Fall of Jack Johnson (2004) — about the first African-American heavyweight champion of the world.
Did Paula Kerger basically pull the plug on Burns after 2022? Listen to how that shit reads. Image that meeting before they called Ken with a deal. "How old will this guy be then? 68? He's fuckin' done! It takes him like 7 years to make these things!"
Kerger blows. You may remember her shitting all over Melanie Martinez last year.
A Tale Of Two Actresses