Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Holy Shit, What Is Happening Out There?!

Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Olympia

Asshole Names Restaurant After Hitler

Photo Of Said Assholes' Restaurant

New 'Survivor' Divides Groups by Race

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Madness I Tell You! Madness!

You knew it was gonna happen. Remember the shootings at the 50 Cent movie?

Well now you got Snakes In A Theater.

Mindbogglingly brilliant in theory yet so massively stupid in reality.

Monday, August 21, 2006

The Worst Thing About This Fucker Is That I'm Pretty Fucking Sure He Is Lying

Read this. What a fucking jackass. Chatting up passengers. Clinking glasses. Are you fucking kidding me?! And I swear I can see this turning out where he didn't do it. That he wasn't even any fucking where near Colorado on that day. But we may not ever get to that point. Because he is going to do his best to fuck with everyone before killing himself. The more I read about this fucker the more I want to drop him in a tar pit.

via AP

Ramsey Murder Suspect Held in L.A. Jail

LOS ANGELES - John Mark Karr's hours of champagne toasts and roast duck vanished the second his plane touched down on U.S. soil. By Monday morning, he was in a high-security jail cell awaiting transfer to Colorado to face charges in the killing of 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey.

Karr was arrested at the airport on a warrant from Boulder County, Colo. A helicopter whisked him to the Twin Towers jail shortly before midnight in a sobering end to a day that began in Bangkok and included fine dining, movies and small talk with his U.S. escorts aboard the Thai Airways flight.

"He is going to be housed here in the men's jail, kept in isolation in a 6-by-9 room with a bed, a toilet no windows and no phones," said Los Angeles County sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore. "He'll get jail chow, he won't get king crab, I'll tell you that."

Karr was to be held in a "high power" cell for noteworthy inmates, checked by guards every 15 minutes, and separated from other inmates who often target suspected child molesters, sheriff's officials said.

Boulder County authorities said Karr was expected to have an extradition hearing in Los Angeles within days, and would be taken to Colorado if he waived extradition. No hearing date was immediately set.

Karr, who last week suddenly emerged as a suspect in a case long believed to have gone cold, told reporters in Thailand that he was with 6-year-old JonBenet when she died in the basement of her home on Dec. 26, 1996, but that her death was an accident.

U.S. officials have been silent about what Karr told them during interrogations.

While in Thailand, Karr had visited a clinic to have facial hair removed permanently because he wanted to prepare for a sex-change operation, a doctor said Monday.

The 41-year-old school teacher's return to the United States was voluntary, and he wasn't handcuffed before or during the 15-hour Thai Airways flight from Bangkok.

Dressed in a red, short-sleeve, button-down shirt and black tie, Karr was whisked through Don Muang International Airport in Bangkok. He chatted with fellow passengers at the departure gate.

Aboard the jet he took a window seat next to Mark Spray, an investigator with the Boulder County district attorney's office. The escort also included a U.S. Embassy official and an agent with "Homeland Security" on his shirt.

Before takeoff, Karr took a glass of champagne from a flight attendant and clinked glasses with Spray, who sipped orange juice.

Karr first dined on pate, salad, fried king prawn, steamed rice, broccoli and chocolate cake. He also had a beer _ crushing the empty can with his hands _ and then had a glass of chardonnay.

Karr appeared to order the drinks himself.

He later dined on roast duck with soy sauce and yellow noodles, and for his third meal had pizza, chocolates and a bottle of Evian.

He sometimes conversed with Spray, who took notes on some of the remarks. Karr told an AP reporter that it was "small talk."

Also during the flight, Karr flipped through movie channels, watched "The Last Samurai," dozed and made several trips to the restroom accompanied by two guards. Each time the door was left slightly ajar.

At one point he changed out of the red shirt and tie, replacing them with a blue polo, but then changed back into the shirt and tie before the landing.

Earlier this year, Karr had gone to the Siam Swan Cosmetic Clinic and its branches in Bangkok to have his sideburns and hair under his chin removed with lasers, Dr. Setthakarn Attakonpan said Monday.

"He wanted to prepare himself to do a sex-change operation," said Setthakarn, a dermatologist.

Hours before Karr's departure from Bangkok on Sunday, a doctor at a clinic specializing in sex-change surgery said Karr had gone there for treatment.

"He was one of my patients," Dr. Thep Vechavisit of the Pratunam Polyclinic said. He refused to provide further details.

Bangkok, where Karr lived on and off for two years, is regarded as a center for sex change operations. The Pratunam clinic advertises sex-change surgery for $1,625 _ a bargain compared to U.S. prices, where male-to-female reassignment surgery can cost tens of thousands of dollars.

Karr, once detained on charges of possessing child pornography, in recent years apparently traveled to Europe, Central America and Asia to search for teaching jobs. He taught in at least two Thai schools.

Why Won't This Bitch Shut The Fuck Up?

via AP

Paris Hilton Praises Her Debut Album

NEW YORK - Paris Hilton is no stranger to self-promotion. But when she asked DJs to play songs from her upcoming debut album, "Paris," last spring, she wasn't so confident.

"People go crazy," the 25-year-old socialite/reality TV star/singer says in an interview in the September issue of Blender magazine, on newsstands Tuesday. "They love it. Everyone's like, `Who is this?' I don't tell. Because I don't want someone putting their phone up and recording it and making a ring tone off of it.

"I think when people don't know it's me, they won't judge it. But if they know it's me, then they'll be like, `Ugh.' They won't even dance."

"Paris" the album was set for release Tuesday. Hilton's breathy, reggae-infused single, "Stars Are Blind," has climbed to the top of Billboard's dance music chart.

Of her album, she says, "I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good."

Hilton says the baby voice she uses on the reality TV show "The Simple Life" is an act.

"I'm always playing a character," she says. "I don't talk like this really _ like a baby. I don't act like myself in public, because I don't really want to show everyone the real me. Because I have no privacy whatsoever, the only thing I have is who I really am."

Friday, August 18, 2006

I Would Rather Drink Ball Sweat

This shitty show better not get made.


Dina Lohan Develops Own Talk Show

Lindsay Lohan's mother Dina Lohan is developing her own talk show for US television. Dina, who acts as her daughter's manager, claims she is the perfect host for a show because people feel comfortable telling her their problems. She says, "Lindsay's friends call me the 'white Oprah (Winfrey)' because they all come to me with their problems. I'm like the mom of these kids in the business. I love to talk. I have a talk show in the works. It's more of an Apprentice-type game show thing. I would host it and co-produce it. We're shopping it around."

Monday, August 14, 2006

Quote Of The Day

"We're never going to eat Colombians out of their ants"

Friday, August 11, 2006

An Open Letter To Mythbusters

Dear Jamie and Adam,

I read in People magazine that people can blow up planes with a cell phone, water, and make-up. This sounds like some bullshit to me. Now I can’t bring soda on a plane. I like soda, and they never have my kind on the plane. I say, “I would like a grape soda please.” And they say they have grape juice, or Coke. That’s bullshit! I saw on your show one time that catching a bullet in your mouth is some bullshit. So I figured you would do this one too. You’ll need a plane and some stuff like peroxide and a disposable camera. Please let me know when the show will be on with this, so I will watch it. Thanks!


PS – Kari is pretty. Please have her send me some pictures.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Worst. Play. Ever.

via AP

Cambodians to Throw a Potty Party

HNOM PENH, Cambodia - The residents of a Cambodian village will throw a party this weekend to celebrate a sanitation milestone: a toilet in every home.

All 94 families in Sleng village in Kampong Speu province have installed a simple latrine in their homes to deal with solid human waste, making the village "a model of good hygiene" for neighboring communities, the U.N. children's organization said.

Hilda Winarta, a UNICEF water and sanitation officer, said the latrines are simple _ holes in the ground surrounded by walls made from tree leaves or plastic sheets _ but can help prevent outbreaks of dangerous diseases.

The village will celebrate its achievement on Saturday with ceremonies and speeches by the village chief, government officials and UNICEF.

A local comedian will also perform, and village actors will perform a short play about how the village residents will no longer have to defecate outdoors.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

English Children's Museum Pretty Fucking Retarded

The visuals I have in my mind of this going down... So good. This is like some fucking Simpson's shit.

via AP

Dog Destroys Elvis' Teddy Bear at Museum

LONDON - A guard dog has ripped apart a collection of rare teddy bears, including one once owned by Elvis Presley, during a rampage at a children's museum.

"He just went berserk," said Daniel Medley, general manager of the Wookey Hole Caves near Wells, England, where hundreds of bears were chewed up Tuesday night by the 6-year-old Doberman pinscher named Barney.

Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear once owned by the young Presley during the attack, leaving fluffy stuffing and bits of bears' limbs and heads on the museum floor. The bear, named Mabel, was made in 1909 by the German manufacturer Steiff.

The collection, valued at more than $900,000, included a red bear made by Farnell in 1910 and a Bobby Bruin made by Merrythought in 1936.

The bear with Elvis connections was owned by English aristocrat Benjamin Slade, who bought it at an Elvis memorabilia auction in Memphis, Tenn., and had loaned it to the museum.

"I've spoken to the bear's owner and he is not very pleased at all," Medley said.

A security guard at the museum, Greg West, said he spent several minutes chasing Barney before wrestling the dog to the ground.