Hey Alanis, This Is Irony. This! Read It! Dumb Bitch...

via imdb

Arrest Warrant Issued for Village People Policeman

An arrest warrant has been issued for former Village People star Victor Willis after the singer failed to appear in court last week. The Can't Stop the Music star, who played the original policeman in the disco group, was set to appear in court last Thursday to answer weapon and drug possession charges. Willis, who co-wrote "In The Navy," was arrested in July after police allegedly found a gun and crack cocaine in his car.

You Better Fucking Watch This

via Coming Soon

Sin City TV Series in the Works

Variety reports that the Weinstein brothers' newly formed studio, The Weinstein Co., will develop a Sin City TV series:

Also in the works are a [series] based on Dimension Films' "Sin City" -- which would follow in the footsteps of 2006's second pic in Robert Rodriguez's "Sin" series -- and a [series] based on the Miramax title "Rounders," capitalizing on the current craze for poker playing.

The "Sin City" movie franchise moved to the Weinstein brothers' company after they went their separate way from Disney's Miramax Films, which released the first film.

Best Show I Will End Up Never Watching But Will Totally Buy On DVD Ever

via Movie Poop Shoot

STILL WATERS RUN DEEP AT COURT TV

Court TV is trying its first original scripted series, ordering a pilot for a murder-mystery anthology featuring filmmaker John Waters.

The cable channel expects to order 12 more episodes of " 'Til Death Do Us Part," which will dramatize real-life cases of spousal murder. Waters will take on a regular role as the "Groom Reaper" in "Death," setting the story for the viewer from his vantage point as a guest at the tragic couple's wedding, where each episode begins.

Shooting in New York this month, "Death" will begin airing in the first quarter in Court TV's primetime entertainment block, which previously was filled with unscripted fare including "Forensic Files" and "Psychic Detectives." But seeing how "Psychic" influenced hit dramas like NBC's "Medium" helped persuade the network to take a chance on scripted series.

"Court TV was always at the forefront of making forensics entertainment," said Marc Juris, general manager of programming and marketing at the network. "We do have a history of trying to tell stories in a way that involves high-stakes investigation and closure."

The premiere episode will depict the story of Nancy Seaman, a Michigan mother who stood trial on the charge of first-degree murder for killing her husband with a hatchet. She claimed self-defense.

"Death" will be produced by Jeff Lieberman ("Satan's Little Helper") of KaBoo Prods., who specializes in low-budget horror-genre productions. Juris felt his low-cost approach to horror would perfectly complement the tone of "Death," which he described as "delicious cynicism," as would the casting of cult icon Waters.

The director, last seen on screen in theatrical "Seed of Chucky," said in a statement that "Death" fulfilled his aspiration to become like one of the horror world's biggest icons.

"I've always been jealous of Vincent Price's career," Waters said. "Maybe now that he's dead, I can hijack it."

This Has Scott Written All Over It

via Associated Press

Bloomberg: I'm Not Looking for a Date

NEW YORK - Someone with a political fetish placed a personal ad in The New York Times claiming to be the "Mayor of New York City," but the real mayor assured everyone _ including his girlfriend _ on Tuesday that he wasn't looking for a date.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg told reporters that he'd have to answer to his woman, state Banking Superintendent Diana Taylor, if he were the source of the ad.

"I can tell you that the banking superintendent would be annoyed if it was me, and it is not me," said Bloomberg, who is 63 and divorced.

The spot says the romance-seeker "takes walks from City Hall" and is looking for a woman who "shares his warmth, compassion, intelligence, humor, energy, attractiveness and sensuality." It says he'd like to meet a woman age 45 to 55, and would "give her the keys to the city."

Taylor said she found the whole thing "hilarious" and understands why someone would want to impersonate her boyfriend, who is a "wonderful guy."

Ladies interested in meeting the mysterious mayoral impersonator have to pay $2.99 per minute to call his personal mailbox. Last Sunday was the ad's final day in print.

Times spokesman Toby Usnik said the spot was approved because "we felt it was a clear parody." The story was first reported by the New York Post.

Dog Fired For Being A Dog

via Associated Press

Lazy British Police Dog Relieved of Duties

ROTHERHAM, England - Buster the German Shepherd could have had a great career as a British police dog had it not been for one flaw: his complete lack of interest in fighting crime.

The canine cop took early retirement after bosses at South Yorkshire Police noted his poor motivation _ and a fondness for making friends with rowdy drunkards, his former handler said Monday.

Buster, who spent some six months on the beat, has been placed with a family in Sheffield, near this town in northern England, Police Constable David Stephenson said.

"He has a lack of drive and motivation when asked to do operational work," Stephenson told The Associated Press. "He's just a lovely pet."

Two-year-old Buster performed well at the start of his 14-week training program, but his work gradually deteriorated and the problem worsened once he started patrolling the streets, he said.
On one occasion, Buster walked straight past a suspected criminal hiding in the garden of a house late at night and went off to cock his leg.

"I searched the garden myself and found the bloke. The dog had walked past the spot where I found him," Stephenson said. "You would have expected him to use his nose to locate him."

During a separate tracking operation, also in the early hours of the morning, Buster gave up while in mid-chase across a golf course . "He just downed tools," Stephenson said. "He just lay down and there was nothing we could do. He has got a very low drive for finding people."

When patroling Rotherham at pub closing times _ when the streets are often crowded with drunken revelers _ Buster wagged his tail when people came up to him and ate their fries, instead of deterring potential trouble makers, his former handler said.

"He just showed no interest in doing the job," Stephenson added. "He had no fire in his belly."

South Yorkshire Police employs some 50 German Shepherds for tracking criminals, searching buildings and helping maintain public order at soccer matches and other events.

This Is Smurfin' Ridiculous

Every once in awhile a story comes along that seems to exist only for the bloggers of the world.

This is totally one of those stories. What. the. fuck.

UNICEF bombs the Smurfs!

Type it into Google and you can read all about it. And the billion blogs going ape shit donkey balls over it.

Me? I think it's kinda stupid, but whatever. I'm still going to play with my Smurfs.

I'm not going to let the terrorists win.