Dear Lord! The Title Alone...
Thanks to my buddy Kyle, who called me at work to tell me of the potential existence of a Dustin Diamond sex tape...
When he said it was right up my alley, I was hoping he meant the pop culture significance and not Screech cock.
Former teen TV star Dustin Diamond is reportedly the star of a candid new sex tape in which he romps with two women. The 29-year-old, who played geek Screech Powers in Saved By The Bell, engages in a number of sexual acts with the women in the 40-minute tape. Agent David Hans Schmidt has acquired the rights and is currently seeking a distributor for Saved By The Smell. Schmidt tells the New York Daily News, "Just when you think you have seen everything in this business, mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it." Diamond's manager Roger Paul hopes the tape will raise his client's profile and help resurrect the acting career that collapsed when Saved By The Bell ended in 1997. He says, "I haven't seen the tape. I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings." Diamond will welcome any royalties he gets from the tape - in June he launched a campaign to save his home from foreclosure, by selling autographed T-shirts on the internet.
Shawn's Top 5 Alternate Titles for Saved By The Smell
Saved By The Bell: The Desperate Porn Years
How The Fuck Does Dustin Diamond Pull A Threesome?!
Screech Powers...His Way Into Some Vagina
Word on the "street" (ie. The New York Daily News) is that the tape features a "dirty sanchez".
... I know. Lord, I know...
But now, you have to ask yourself... Do you want to see it any less... or moooooore?