Dear Lord! The Title Alone...

Thanks to my buddy Kyle, who called me at work to tell me of the potential existence of a Dustin Diamond sex tape...

When he said it was right up my alley, I was hoping he meant the pop culture significance and not Screech cock.

via IMDb

Former teen TV star Dustin Diamond is reportedly the star of a candid new sex tape in which he romps with two women. The 29-year-old, who played geek Screech Powers in Saved By The Bell, engages in a number of sexual acts with the women in the 40-minute tape. Agent David Hans Schmidt has acquired the rights and is currently seeking a distributor for Saved By The Smell. Schmidt tells the New York Daily News, "Just when you think you have seen everything in this business, mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it." Diamond's manager Roger Paul hopes the tape will raise his client's profile and help resurrect the acting career that collapsed when Saved By The Bell ended in 1997. He says, "I haven't seen the tape. I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings." Diamond will welcome any royalties he gets from the tape - in June he launched a campaign to save his home from foreclosure, by selling autographed T-shirts on the internet.

Shawn's Top 5 Alternate Titles for Saved By The Smell

Saved By The Bell: The Desperate Porn Years
Thrustin' Diamond
Showgirls 2
How The Fuck Does Dustin Diamond Pull A Threesome?!
Screech Powers...His Way Into Some Vagina

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Update:

Word on the "street" (ie. The New York Daily News) is that the tape features a "dirty sanchez".

... I know. Lord, I know...

But now, you have to ask yourself... Do you want to see it any less... or moooooore?

So Many Levels Of Terrible

Under a naming-rights deal to be announced today, the Cardinals' heralded new football stadium in Glendale will be rechristened University of Phoenix Stadium.-- Arizona Republic

That's More Like It

via CNN

Teen idol breaks engagement after one week

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Pop singer Aaron Carter has broken off his engagement to his older brother's ex.

The 18-year-old teen idol called off his engagement to 22-year-old actress Kari Ann Peniche just a week after he proposed onstage in Las Vegas, Us Weekly reported on its Web site Sunday.

Peniche is an ex-girlfriend of Carter's older brother, Backstreet Boys singer Nick Carter, 26. She's also a former Miss Teen USA and former Playboy Playmate.

"I got caught up in the moment and proposed," the younger Carter told the magazine. "I then realized it was a hasty thing to do and I am not ready for marriage quite yet."

Attempts by The Associated Press to reach a representative for Carter were not immediately successful Monday.

Both brothers will appear in the upcoming reality series "House of Carters" on the E! network.

Fuck Me

How the fuck does this happen?

from imdb

Aaron Carter Engaged

Singer Aaron Carter is engaged to Playboy Playmate Kari Ann Peniche, who previously dated his brother Nick. The 18-year-old proposed to Peniche on Saturday in Las Vegas, Nevada, while they were onstage in front of 200 people during the Playboy Comedy Tour at the Palms Casino Resort. She tells American publication People, "I'm very excited about it. Aaron is the most genuine person I know. He's kind, loving, and I love him so much." Peniche, 22, says she was shocked when Carter popped the question adding, "I had no idea he was going to do this, but I'm glad he did. I don't remember it happening. It was such a blur." The couple, who plan to wed in the next six months, hugged and kissed after Peniche accepted the proposal. Playboy tour producer and comedian Cort McCown says, "He said he was going to do it, but we thought he was kidding. He was really nervous." Peniche was named Miss Teen USA in 2003, but had to relinquish her title after posing for Playboy. Carter is set to star in a new reality show about his family, House Of Carters, which premieres next month on the American E! network.

We'll Miss You Steve!

Thanks for the memories