Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Holy Balls!

What the fuck is this site?

Why are you people so proud?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I Seriously Would Rather Eat Someone Else's Shit Than Watch This Movie...



Ali Larter, David Carradine, Tom Arnold, Talia Shire and newcomer Hayes MacArthur have joined the cast of indie "Homo Erectus: A Caveman Comedy." Writer, director and star Adam Rifkin already has boarded the project, which is being financed by Burnt Orange Prods. The film centers on Ishbo (Rifkin), a philosophical caveman who loves Fardart (Larter), but she only has eyes for Ishbo's studly, dimwitted brother, Thudnik (MacArthur). Carradine and Shire will play Ishbo's parents, while Arnold will play Rog, a gay caveman.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Do I Love This Or Hate This? I Just Don't Know Anymore...


Saget To Make Penguin Love Story

Comedian Bob Saget is writing and producing an adults-only comedy version of French movie documentary "March of the Penguins."

The former "Full House" star has gathered over 70 hours of penguin footage to make "Farce of the Penguins."

He came up with the idea when he found himself humorously ad-libbing the Luc Jacquet documentary.

Saget says, "We're planning an R-rated movie.

"And all of my friends want to do voice-overs -- every person on 'Full House' wants to do it.

"And [Counting Crows singer] Adam Duritz wants to be a cursing, singing penguin."

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Dude, Seriously... Movies - Yes. Video Games - Yes. Graphic Novels - Sure... I Can See That. Novellas - ... Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

via AP wire

50 Cent to Launch Hip-Hop Book Line

NEW YORK - 50 Cent will again turn his reality into fiction with a new line of hip-hop novellas and graphic novels featuring his former G-Unit rap crew buddies, a publisher announced.

Pocket/MTV Books promised the venture would showcase "gritty" stories and cover much of the same terrain as 50 Cent's raps.

"These tales will tell the truth about The Life; the sex, guns and cash; the brutal highs and short lives of the players on the streets," the publisher said in a release over the weekend.

The G-Unit Books line of street fiction will feature G-Unit members Lloyd Banks, Tony Yayo, Young Buck and Olivia as characters, the release said.

Nikki Turner, author of "The Glamorous Life" and "A Hustler's Wife," will pen the line's first novella. It is set to be published in 2007.

50 Cent, whose real name is Curtis Jackson, was recently criticized by community groups in Philadelphia and Los Angeles for billboards promoting his semi-autobiographical movie, "Get Rich or Die Tryin'." The ads featured an image of him holding a gun in one hand and a microphone in the other.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Okay... We Fucking Get It! People Are Petty, Whiny Things. Enough Already. Seriously.

via AP Wire

CBS Orders More Editions of 'Survivor'

LOS ANGELES - CBS has ordered more editions of "Survivor" for next season but it remains uncertain whether host Jeff Probst will stay with the reality series.

The network said Tuesday it will air the 13th and 14th versions of "Survivor" in the 2006-07 season. The contract with Probst, who has been with the show since it started in summer 2000, extends through the "Survivor" now in production.

That 12th version, being filmed at an undisclosed location, will be broadcast next spring. "Survivor: Guatemala" is currently airing.

Probst, 43, told People magazine last month that he is mulling renewal of his "Survivor" contract.

"There's the inevitable point where you go, `Do I want to do other things?'" he says. "But ... I'll never have as good a job as `Survivor.'"

Negotiations on a new contract have yet to begin.

The show from executive producer Mark Burnett remains a consistent top 10 ratings performer and a key part of the Thursday night lineup, CBS Entertainment President Nina Tassler said.

Fine. But Can You Tell Me Why They Piss Themselves? ... What?

via AP wire

Women May Enjoy Humor More, if It's Funny

WASHINGTON - The difference between the sexes has long been a rich source of humor. Now it turns out, humor is one of the differences.

Women seem more likely than men to enjoy a good joke, mainly because they don't always expect it to be funny.

"The long trip to Mars or Venus is hardly necessary to see that men and women often perceive the world differently," a research team led by Dr. Allan L. Reiss of the Stanford University School of Medicine reports in Tuesday's issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

But they were surprised when their studies of how the male and female brains react to humor showed that women were more analytical in their response, and felt more pleasure when they decided something really was funny.

"Women appeared to have less expectation of a reward, which in this case was the punch line of the cartoon," said Reiss. "So when they got to the joke's punch line, they were more pleased about it."

Women were subjecting humor to more analysis with the aim of determining if it was indeed funny, Reiss said in a telephone interview.

Men are using the same network in the brain, but less so, he said, men are less discriminating.

"It doesn't take a lot of analytical machinery to think someone getting poked in the eye is funny," he commented when asked about humor like the Three Stooges.

While there is a lot of overlap between how men and women process humor, the differences can help account for the fact that men gravitate more to one-liners and slapstick while women tend to use humor more in narrative form and stories, Reiss said.

The funnier the cartoon the more the reward center in the women's brain responded, unlike men who seemed to expect the cartoons to be funny from the beginning, the researchers said.

The new insight could improve understanding of such conditions as depression, the researchers said.

"The bottom line is that I think it contributes to the foundation of understanding individual differences in humans," Reiss said. Humor is used by humans to cope with stress and to establish relationships, and it can even help strengthen the immune system.

Reiss' team studied the response of 10 women and 10 men to 70 black-and-while cartoons, asking them to rate the jokes for how funny they were. While the volunteers were looking at the cartoons their brains were being studied with an MRI to determine what parts of the brains were responding.

In large part, men and women had similar responses to humor, using parts of the brain responsible for the structure and context of language and for understanding juxtaposition.

In women, however, some areas were more active than in men. These included the left prefrontal cortex, which the researchers said suggests a greater emphasis on language and executive processing, and the nucleus accumbens, or NAcc, which is part of the reward center.

Reiss said he was surprised at the NAcc finding. The researchers theorized that because women were being more analytical they weren't necessarily expecting the cartoons to be as funny as did the men.

Then, when they saw the punch line, the reward center lit up, indicating something pleasant and unexpected.

Arnie Cann, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte, commented: "Given the findings in the current study, that women appear to use more executive functions, it could be that they are more engaged in scrutinizing the humor to decide if it fits their views on what is acceptable humor. Once they decide the humor is OK, they could be experiencing a relief-like response."

That would fit in with the finding that women experience more reward from the joke, said Cann, who was not part of Reiss' research team.

Reiss' research was funded by the National Institutes of Health.

Monday, November 07, 2005

I Know It's Cliche To Say This, But Seriously... That's Hot


Two Panthers cheerleaders face charges

Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders who allegedly were having sex with each other in a bathroom stall at a Tampa, Fla., nightclub were arrested and charged early Sunday following a run-in with patrons and police.

According to a police report obtained by the CBS TV affiliate in Tampa and the Charlotte Observer, Angela Ellen Keathley and Renee Thomas were arrested following an incident at Banana Joe's, in Tampa's Channelside district, at 2:10 a.m. ET.

In the police report, witnesses claimed Thomas and Keathley were having sex with each other in a stall when other patrons grew angry that the two were taking so long in the bathroom.

Another woman waiting to use the bathroom got into an argument with the two, and Thomas hit that person in the face, according to details of the report posted on, the CBS TV affiliate's Web site.

Keathley, who was escorted from the nightclub, was so drunk she could barely stand, the report said. Police described Keathley as rude and belligerent with police.

When Thomas was arrested, she gave police the name of another Panthers cheerleader -- Kristen Lanier Owen, the Observer and reported. Thomas, who was charged with one count of battery, might face additional charges for lying to police, once they confirm her identity.

Keathley was charged with disorderly conduct and obstructing or opposing an officer.

Other Panthers cheerleaders bailed Thomas and Keathley out of Hillsborough County jail later Sunday morning, reported.

The cheerleaders made the trip to Tampa on their own -- the squad performs on the sideline only at home games. Panthers officials at Sunday afternoon's game said they were aware of the report, but declined further comment when contacted by the Observer.

According to the Panthers' official team Web site on, Keathley is a registered nurse and second-year member of the TopCats. Thomas is listed as a student at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte and first-year member of the cheerleading squad.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

This Took About 4 Seconds...

via AP wire

Dirty Downloads Ready to Go on IPods

SAN FRANCISCO - Purveyors of porn and entrepreneurs who spied a niche when Apple Computer Inc. unveiled its video-playing iPod are proving that sex even sells in tiny packages _ especially when it is portable.

One online social network of amateur pinup girls said it logged 500,000 downloads of the sexy "featurettes" _ three- to five-minute video clips _ in the first 24 hours targeting the new iPod-toting crowd.

It's a no-brainer: pornography to go.

The naughtiness is already finding its way into video handhelds through business models tried-and-true _ along with some new ones _ as the adult entertainment industry works to untether video content.

Soon enough, skin flicks whose viewing has been largely restricted to the privacy of homes and theaters could be on view in the open public of parks and mass transit, for all ages to see.

Porn is no doubt a big business on the Web.

Two in five Internet users visited an adult site in August, according to tracking by comScore Media Metrix. The company said 3 percent of all Web traffic and 2 percent of all surfing time involved an adult site.

The Internet accounted for $2.5 billion of the adult industry's $14 billion in U.S. revenues last year, about the same as revenues from cable and satellite pay-per-view showings, according to Adult Video News, a trade magazine.

Vivid Entertainment Group, a major adult video producer that already offers high-resolution still images, video clips and footage from "voyeur cams" through its Web site, now plans to shoot shorter films specifically for the iPod and other portables.

"It could be a huge percentage of our business," says the company's chief executive, Steven Hirsch. "People love watching adult movies and to be able to carry an adult movie in your pocket is a powerful tool."

Sin City, based in Chatsworth, Calif., already offers trailers of full-length adult films for the Sony PlayStation Portable, a handheld video game player. It now plans full-length adult films for the video iPod.

Apple wasn't first on the scene with a small digital device capable of playing good-quality video.

Creative Technology and iRiver are among companies with pocket-sized devices already on the market; they use Windows Mobile software to display video, audio and still images.

In addition, one early entrant, Archos, has a Jukebox that can store and play a whopping 400 hours of video in the MPEG-4 standard.

Yet the very marketing and deal-making finesse that helped Apple rise to dominate the portable music market make its new video-playing iPod a likely vessel for adult movies' expansion to portable porn.

The Apple's iTunes online story already features several hot and heavy podcasts, audio downloads geared to portability. The company isn't offering much in the way of sex on videos, though some of the music videos it sells for $1.99 each can tend toward titillation. Apple officials refused requests for interviews on whether they might offer adult content on iTunes for iPod owners.

For many high-profile companies, sex remains a tough sell.

Although wireless phone companies support devices that play video, they are reluctant to expose themselves to complaints from a large and valuable customer base.

One company that knows firsthand is Digital Orchid, which manages the delivery of streaming video to cell phones for top brands, including,, ESPN and the National Hockey League.

It also handles Hawaiian Tropic, the suntan oil company perhaps better known for its comely bikini models. That sort of content is about as racy as wireless carriers want to get, says Robert Betros, Digital Orchid's co-founder and chief technology officer.

"We won't cross that line because the carriers won't distribute it, and that's a majority of the revenue opportunity for us," Betros said. "Now they may change their tune, and in some places in Europe carriers are distributing this kind of content."

In the wireless industry, carrier-approved content exists within something referred to as a walled garden. In the United States, at least, that garden is generally safe for children.

Once users stroll outside garden walls and inside a Web browser, however, all bets are off.

A company called Xobile sells pornographic video clips for cell phones. No special operating system or other software is necessary: Just a Web browser, which is commonplace now for phones with access to digital data networks.

That it's now easier than ever for minors to view X-rated content on portable devices concerns media watch groups that seek to protect children.

The problem is that children are often quicker to grasp the technology than their parents, says Jack Samad, a senior vice president with the National Coalition for the Protection of Children & Families.

"The arena is wide open, unfiltered, unrestricted, for adult content," Samad said. "Children are very aware of where it is and how to download it."

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The CD Should Come With Little Curly Hairs Packed Inside... Because This Is Balls!

via AP

Federline Rap Posted on Internet

NEW YORK - The dawn of Kevin Federline's hip-hop career has begun, though it remains to be seen if it will last past breakfast.

A track by Federline was posted on the Internet by Disco D, the producer of his upcoming album, "The Truth," to be released next year.

Though the song has since been taken off Disco D's Web site, it has popped up elsewhere, giving a glimpse of Mr. Britney Spears' rhyming, um, abilities.

"Back then, they called me K-Fed, but you can call me Daddy instead," he intones in the chorus of "Y'all Ain't Ready."

Over an industrial beat reminiscent of Kelis' "Milkshake," Federline represents himself as a brash, newsworthy figure ahead of his time. "People always asking me when's the release date / Well, baby you can wait and see, until then all these Pavarottis followin' me," he raps, nicknaming paparazzi after the Italian opera singer.

Tabloids might remark that their photographers are actually focused on his pop star wife. Before meeting Spears, Federline's career was mostly limited to backup dancing. The couple wed last year and had a son in September.

Already garnering comparisons to Vanilla Ice, Federline's album appears destined for late-night punch lines. But the 27-year-old does anticipate some backlash from his musical pursuits: "My prediction is that y'all gonna hate on the style we create, straight 2008."