Friday, September 23, 2005

Are You Serious? Speed Fucking 2?! I Could Have Made That Crap For $8 And Still Bought A Pizza! I Mean... What The Fuck?! Speed 2? Really?

The new Superman movie's budget could feed like a bunch of kids and stuff.

Most expensive films ever:

Superman Returns (2006) $326 million
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) $305m
Titanic (1997) $200m
Spiderman 2 (2004) $200m
Dinosaur (2000) $200m
Waterworld (1995) $175m
Wild Wild West (1999) $175m
Van Helsing (2004) 170m
Polar Express (2004) $170m
Terminator 3 (2003) $170m
Alexander (2005) $155m
Speed 2 (1997) $150m
Batman Begins (2005) $150m
Troy (2004) $150m
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) $150m
Armageddon (1998) $150m
Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) $140m

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Bill Don't Give A Shit If A Hurricane Is Headed Your Way. He's Like "Pass The Salt."


Asked to comment on "air-conditioned" shoulder pads worn by Houston last Sunday in the 97-degree Texas heat, [Bill] Cowher smiled. "My gosh, we're going to be playing in space suits pretty soon. I don't know. It didn't help them much."



That Is Fucking Disgusting

Saw this over at IMDb

Falk Strips On Camera for the First Time

Veteran actor Peter Falk has given his fans a huge incentive to watch his new movie The Things About My Folks, by announcing he performs his first nude scene ever in the film. The 78-year-old actor strips down for the first time ever in front of cameras for the recently-released movie - and he promises that fans should like what they see. He says, "I am not totally nude - I'm wearing talcum powder!" His co-star Paul Reiser explains, "We're very proud of it. It's a lovely dance he does with talcum powder. Peter basically is playing my father. My father used to use more talcum powder than you could ever imagine. He'd come out of the shower and the floor around the whole house would be like a scene from Scarface. There would just be acres of (powder on the floor)."


I just vomited into my chai tea.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Music To My God Damn Ears

Smash Mouth is fucking OVER. Steve Harwell has been announced as a housemate in the upcoming season of Surreal Life. That's it dude. Nothing more for you. No more fucking cover songs in movies. No more same song over and over again. Done.

Other cast members include Sherman Helmsely (George Jefferson) , Tawny Kitaen (80's slut), CC Deville (fat then thin dude from Poison), Andrea Lowell (naked in Playboy) and Alexis Arquette (the cross dressing brother). The final member has not been announced though rumors indicate it will be a reality show "hunk" who will be voted on. Former WWE superstar and Tough Enough winner Maven is said to be a candidate. VH-1 has such a hard-on for wrestlers. Chyna, Hulk Hogan, Chris Jericho...

Also, Smash Mouth has to go away now.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Math Is Hard. This Is Ridiculous.

So my boy Ben Roethlisberger had a perfect passer rating on Sunday of 158.3. His stats: 9 of 11 for 218 yards with two touchdowns and no interceptions.


Shawn, you may ask, why is 158.3 a perfect rating? Silly child, it is very simple. You simply take:

- Completion percentage, minus 30, multiplied by .05
- Yards per attempt, minus 3, multiplied by .25
- Touchdown percentage multiplied by .2
- Interception percentage, multiplied by .25, subtracted from 2.375
- Add previous four totals, divide by 6, multiply by 100

Don't ask me. I was a Journalism major.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

What's Like Saying Holy Fuck, Only Bigger?

How is it possible that every story I read about New Orleans in the wake of Katrina become more and more mind boggling? Here's a story I just finished reading. Superdome evacuation disrupted after shots fired. Insane.

I urge everyone to help out, whether it be through donating money, or blood, or whatever. Visiting the American Red Cross home page is a good place to start.